Happy Thanksgiving! Texans love eating turkeys, but we also love shooting them. If you are going to hunt turkeys in Texas you should take the time to read the Texas Parks and Wildlife Code, because you can get in some trouble if you don’t know what you are doing.
Fortunately most wildlife-related crimes are class C misdemeanors, a few more are class A. To get to the state jail felony level you need to have already been convicted of these things once, and then do them and get caught again.
So whatever you do with your turkey today, don’t do these things, they are class A misdemeanors, but if you get caught twice they can be a felony.
- Shoot a turkey from your car. I mean seriously, how lazy are you, get your fat ass out of your truck and shoot the turkey with your feet in the dirt, just like the pilgrims did. For more- See Texas Parks and Wildlife Code 62.003.
- Spotlight the turkey before killing it. I mean, that’s the real insult to the bird. Staring into your headlights like a dope before dying. Let the bird die with dignity, in the daytime, just like George Washington did it. TPWC- 62.005
- Shoot a turkey at night. This is terrible. If you can’t use your night vision goggles to shoot turkeys at night then the 2nd amendment is dead. TPWC- 62.004
- Hunting with a laser. That would be a laser sighting device to assist your aim. The Wildlife Code isn’t clear on if you can use a Star Wars Blaster to kill turkeys. But there is an exception! You can use a laser sight to hunt if you are legally blind, and have a non-blind person to help, inter alia. See TPWC 62.055
I know what you are thinking, “that was a great read, but what is the penalty for sex with a turkey in Texas?” First of all, you are really awful for wanting to know that, I’m very disappointed in you. But to answer the question such an act would be a class A misdemeanor. It’s under the public lewd statute in the penal code. TPC 21.07