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No person shall ever be imprisoned for debt.

Article 1, Section 18, Texas Constitution.

Besides criminal defense I also take a limited number of family law cases. Most Texans understand that if you fail to pay child support the court can find the debtor/obligor in contempt, and jail that person for up to 6 months. I have prosecuted and defended civil child support cases where the defendant was sent to jail for non payment. There are so many of these cases that Attorney General child support court (IV-D) often has as many inmates on the jail chain as a misdemeanor or felony docket.

Is one sentence I hate to here in a consultation. Potential clients all desire the same thing during a consulation, the one thing that I can not promise them- certainty of outcome. Check the avvo message boards and you will see the most common question asked by defendants is “I’m charged with x, what sentence will I get?”

Most defendants are regular hard working Americans who but for the unlucky lottery and perpetual vigilance of law enforcement would have never been arrested or charged wtih anything. These defendants want the process over and their lives back, post haste.

Unfortunately, I don’t do guaranteed dismissals for any case. I can tell you that a small category of cases (hot checks in Kaufman in which the defendant pays restitution) are routinely dismissed. But even that doesn’t mean any one particular case will be dismissed.

I got back in from Key West last night an 9pm. I made three phone calls on the way home from the airport. One thing about leaving town for 5 days is the office tsunami that awaits upon return. I tried to not call anyone while in Florida and only sporadically checked my email. Law is a jealous mistress indeed, and right now she’s pissed.

Final Key West Thoughts

The NORML seminar is at the Pier House resort and spa. PH is located at the end of Duval street in a perfect location- close enough to the nightlife, secluded enough that you don’t realize it. PH also had some of the best food in Key West. It’s a little pricey, but we’ll probably go back next year. It’s good to stay with the NORMLers.

I wouldn’t leave. I’ve been in Key West for 24 hours and this is paradise. When I left Dallas it was snowing and I was fighting traffic on 360. Here, the weather is perfect and “traffic” is mostly golf carts and mopeds.

Where to start? First, there is the awe inspiring natural beauty of the Keys. The teal water, sandy beaches, flora and fauna deserve a few hundred words. But nature writing is not my strong point.

Besides beauty the commerce in Key West is refreshingly local and unique. While there is a CVS near our hotel there is nary a chain restaurant in site. One reason I loathe Cancun is that it’s been over run with megacorp blandness. I’ve always been more Port Aransas than South Padre Island. The conch republic/pirate shtick is fun. I’ve seen more than a few drunk “pirates” in full garb, complete with fake parrots.

I was quoted in DMN today for an article on the Dallas Constables allegedly selling raffle tickets to finance their campaigns. My entire contribution, soup to nuts, was

Robert Guest, a local criminal defense lawyer, said he believes the state’s anti-gambling law prohibits elected officials from using raffles to raise campaign money.

How did I come to that conclusion? It should come as no surprise that I’ve never actually represented someone for illegal raffling. Such prosecutions are rare. In fact, in my 6 years of lawyering I’ve never seen one.

I got an email this week that caught my attention. Steve Fischer is seeking 5000 signatures to be placed on the ballot for Texas Bar President. Bar elections are something I usually ignore. I check the candidates at the last minute, see if I know anyone, or if someone is local, and as a final tie breaker if someone went to Texas Tech law school.

In my experience most candidates are UT/SMU Big Law types. Steve’s email indicated that he wanted to be the voice of the small firm/solo practicioner. Steve kindly agreed to an interview on issues I find important. Steve has earned my signature and I hope you will support his efforts.

If you want to support Steven and/or sign the petition (you have to a licensed Texas attorney) email Steve at Fish2026(AT)aol(DOT)com

I take a few minutes each week to answer questions on AVVO. AVVO is an attorney review website that also allows the public to post questions for lawyers to answer. Back in pre AVVO days I had a regular feature alled “You search I answer” in which I would answer questions posed in Google searches. I have to admit AVVO is much more efficient, cutting out the Google middleman.

I can appreciate the public’s desire for free answers to their criminal defense questions. Unfortunately, many criminal defense problems can’t be solved within the limitations of AVVO. Ergo, one of my most common responses is “You need to hire experienced local counsel immediately”.

Here are some common questions that I answer, without really answering-

The power of Google has made my site prominent to victims of Public Intoxication citations. Despite Google’s kind introduction very few of these defendants become clients.

My preference is to set ticket cases for trial and force the State to meet their burden. Unfortunately a ticket trial setting is an expensive endeavor. More expensive than simply requesting deferred and paying the ticket, or hiring the $65 ticket lawyer for a quick plea. I want treat these cases like a “real” criminal case- investigate the facts, pick a jury, cross examine the cop etc. I can’t do those things for less than the cost of deferred probation (usually $200-$300).

Most defendants would rather take the sure dismissal with deferred than pay more to risk conviction at trial. I can’t blame them. Ticket court is set up to maximize revenue, not achieve justice. Even though the vast majority of PI defendants are arrested and thrown in the drunk tank they have no right to court appointed counsel. It’s another way we incarcerate without representation in Texas.

One of my favorite South Park episodes is Clubhouses. Stan decides to build a clubhouse so he can play truth or dare with his girlfriend Wendy. Chaos ensues (Ewok Village 5000, inter alia) but finally, by the end of the episode Stan is expecting to be “dared” to kiss Wendy.

Instead, Wendy dares Stan to “take this twig and jam it up your peehole.” A shockingly typical SP ending.

Now replace Stan with the driving public, and Wendy with a MADD pyscho goon cop and you have the story of Jamie Lockard. From WLWT.com-

Well that was quick. My wife and I (along with another couple) just got back from a 5 day Carnival cruise out of Galveston. I can’t remember my Trip Advisor password so let me offer a quick review.

First, what I didn’t like. Cruises are like day care for adults. You can literally quit thinking for 5 days and let the staff take care of you. Some people might enjoy a strict schedule and constant group activities. My wife and I have ample experience traveling Mexico and missed the freedom to explore on our own.

I would highly recommend a cruise for travelers with kids. One thing I didn’t notice was children running wild over the boat. I learned that this trip had over 300 children on board. The Carnival staff did a marvelous job in loco parentis, kudos.