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Every two years our most electable citizens gather in Austin to enact new criminal laws. Passing a new criminal law can be hard. You must invent a crisis that only a new criminal law can solve, and then convince other reps to vote for it. This takes time away from important activities like boozing it up with lobbyists or pandering to special interests. To help streamline the process I have created the Texas Criminal Law Generator. This system creates instant “tough on crime” legislation that is guaranteed to pass and be signed by Rick Perry!

If you are a politician who needs the appearance of “doing something about crime” without being distracted by details like justice, rights, or liberty, the TCLG is for you.

First, pick a politically marginalized group

It’s an ice storm auto apocalypse is Dallas. Dallasites are often criticized for their driving performance during winter storms. This criticism is most often heard from snooty mountain state residents with their snow tires and four wheel drive.

Guess what rest-of-America? No one can drive in ice. In Colorado, Minnesota, New York, it snows. It’s easy to drive in snow. I took on a blizzard in Colorado once in a crappy sedan rental car. No problem.

Driving in ice is like, well any other activity on ice. It’s really freakin’ hard. NASCAR drivers would fail on Texas ice.

D magazine’s, Trey Garrison, weighs in on the growth of the Nanny/Police State in Dallas. Our Dear Leaders on the Dallas City Council know how you should live your life. They have enlisted our local police to help you make the “right” decisions.

No minutia of daily activity is beyond the reach of these petty tyrants. Trey Garrison exposes the inanity with a roundup of verboten activities.

BICYCLES

Today I had two cases dismissed (scoreboarding disclaimer). Let’s discuss why criminal cases are dismissed.

First, let me offer 3 categories of problems that lead to dismissals- factual, legal, and logistical. The first two categories are self explanatory. Logistical problems include actually getting the evidence (or witnesses) in front of a jury.

Legal issues arise from research. Factual issues from investigation. Logistical issues require a deadline and can be manufactured.

Plea bargaining is one of the most important aspects of criminal defense practice. Like most vital areas of real world law, it is not taught in law school. All PB experience happens on the job.

One of the aspects of the plea bargain is talking with your ADA about problems with the case. For example, you may point out that the arresting officer isn’t very strong on the stand, or has recently been arrested etc.

Such statements are usually made with a request for a specific disposition; a dismissal or better plea terms. Most ADA’s have more than enough cases set for trial, many don’t want to waste time presenting a problem case to a jury.

I had court in Kaufman this morning. 6 cases set in two courts, one upstairs and one downstairs. First, I went to the upstairs court. I spoke with the ADA, worked out a plea bargain, decided to set two cases for pre trial etc. Things are moving along when two lawyers and my downstairs client inform me that my downstairs case has been called and the judge is waiting.

Not wanting to make the judge unhappy I book it downstairs; talk with another ADA, got appointed to a new case, and worked on passing these cases.

Before I can finish downstairs, the bailiff from upstairs comes to tell me that I still have 2 clients waiting and that I need to go back upstairs. It seems the upstairs judge has another hearing at 10:30 and my clients are holding that up. I quickly fill out two reset sheets, tell my new client to meet me at my office, and go back upstairs to finalize those cases.

There is no shortage of good blawg advise on hiring a criminal attorney. There is a shortage of good information on hiring me. Too fill that void let me offer a quick guide to our consultation.

FREE!

Like most criminal defense lawyers I don’t charge for a consultation. I gladly donate 30 minute (sometimes longer) blocks of time to prospective clients.

First, some Einstein.

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.

– Albert Einstein

Guitar Hero World Tour was an entertainment force in my house over the holidays. At my Christmas party, on Christmas, whenever friends or family were around the fake plastic GH drums, guitar and mic were in action.

For the cave dwellers amongst my readership, Guitar Hero World Tour (GH) is a music game in which the player spends time destroying colored circles in rhythm with the music. It’s a karaoke/rock band experience that most people are instantly hooked on.

I have a unique perspective in that I can actually play guitar (or at least I could, it’s been a while). In law school I was the guitarist for Lubbock’s greatest law school rock band- 5 Hours From Dallas. Playing GH can be hard for real guitar players. It takes a while to understand the timing.

First, I want to wish my readers a wonderful 2009. Thanks for reading and commenting. My 18 month old blog sits at 130,000 hits. I’ll keep typing as long as you keep reading.

My wife and I celebrated New Year’s at a party in downtown Dallas last night. Like most revelers we booked a room downtown and took cabs to avoid driving. The priceline hotel gods put us in the Hyatt Regency. Unbeknownst to me was the fact that the Ole Miss Rebel football team was also staying there. Finally, I was sporting my red Texas Tech hoody sweatshirt (red hooded sweeeeaaatshirt).

The Cotton Bowl had made TT/UM into forced rivals for the next few days. So much so, that I was viewed with immediate suspicion by the Rebel fans, boosters, players, and cheerleaders. Even the Mississippi highway patrol looked concerned at my presence. I was being collegiality profiled.